Nigerian Email Spammer Correspondence

This is an actual correspondence between the owner of The Cleverest (http://www.thecleverest.com)  called Mike Solomon and a poor Nigerian scammer who got outwitted. We thought it was really funny and we wanted to share it with the world and give a heads up on ongoing email fraud.

The cast is comprised of:


Aaron Obasanjo
played by an unknown scam artist

The idiot
played by Michael Solomon

 


AARON OBASANJO
EMAIL:a_obasanjo@onebox.com
LAGOS – NIGERIA
Dear Sir,
RE: PRIVATE BUSINESS PROPOSAL
Due to the nature of this transaction, being utterly confidential and of utmost secrecy, I must start by soliciting your strict confidence.You have been recommended by an associate who assured me in confidence of your ability and reliability to prosecute a transaction of great magnitude involving a pending business transaction requiring maximum confidence.

Let me start by introducing myself. I am AARON OBASANJO, executive director of the Federal Ministry of Power and Steel, executive secretary of the newly constituted contract review panel and the chairman of OIL and GAS Nigeria Ltd. I have a proposal to offer to you, which would be of mutual benefit to all parties involved. It involves investing about US$26,400,000:00 (TWENTY SIX MILLION FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS) in your country. Please contact me by email, if you might be interested in the proposal so that we can discuss further.

Expecting your favourable response.With kind regards,

AARON OBASANJO

N.B;PLEASE WHEN YOU ANSWER QUOTE REFERENCE NO;AO/O1


Aaron,

Yes. I would love to help you out. Please send me more information and I’d be happy to do anything nescessary to get this money. Thanks for choosing me!

Michael Solomon


ATTENTION: MIKE SOLOMON.

Thank you very much for your most timely email response acknowledging reciept of my proposal. After due consultations with my client, we have decided to go ahead with you. This will spell the beginning of a truly rewarding and cherished relationship between us that will bridge our religious and geographical divides. I shall briefly enunciate the process that will be adopted by us to achieve our mutual objective in this project. The undue delay was a result of the fact that, my client had to consult a spiritualist who assured us of your reliability hence our present enthusiasm towards your person. Discussions with other members of her family ad to be held. I would need to use this opportunity to bring you into the full picture of this pending transaction. As regards the information to this transaction, I am obliged to inform you that I am not in this alone but working on my client’s brief who is the originator of this transaction. I have taken time to discuss your response to my client hence my delay in responding to your email. They have given me the go-ahead to intimate you of their pressing need, to go into a business relationship with you. Since we would work together,I wish to introduce myself to you a bit more. I am Dr Aaron Obasanjo a private attorney to the family of late former head of state of the Federal Republic of Nigeria General Sani Abacha. I have been directed by his only surviving widow to seek urgently an associate in your country that will assist the family in receiving a consignment of funds that is currently in the custody of a security/courier company in a West African country. These funds amounting to about US$26.4M was to be used for establishing some businesses . Immediately the late head of state died, things fell apart and there was a terrible probe into the family’s activities. This has made it impossible for any member of the family to as much as lift a finger to move out funds. Then the present Government of President Olusegun Obasanjo started carrying out a personal vendetta on my client’s family, claiming that they looted funds from the Nigerian treasury. I want to point out that these allegations are not only false but also baseless as the late head of state imprisoned the incumbent president of my country in 1995 for plotting a coup, hence the present situation of bad blood.

It is all a personal vendetta against the family of the Abacha’s. Presently, General Abacha’s eldest son Alhaji Mohammed Abacha has been held illegally in detention for the past one year on trumped up murder charges. All their bank accounts have been frozen and most of their known assets expropriated by this current very vindictive government their close relatives and friends are not left out as they are constantly been monitored by our vicious security agencies.

Consequently, we are soliciting your assistance in the collection of the funds which are currently in Nigeria, for onward shipment to Europe, the United states or Canada for safe keeping in your account or investments in fixed interest government securities until the Abacha Family is able to travel out of Nigeria for collection as there is currently a travel ban on them including my humble self. They have proposed that on collection, you will keep 5% of the funds for your kind assistance while 5% will be set aside for expenses that will be incurred during the course of this transaction These expenses include, telephone bills, fax running bills and power bills. Although, for the sake of clarity, you have to let us be aware of such expenses before offsetting. This is for our mutual trust as partners and to allow for good book keeping. If you decide to go into this arrangement, I will proceed to instruct the security/ courier company that you are the sole beneficiary of the consignment and will consequently authorise the company to ship the funds to your designated location for pick up. This is the sole reason why I contacted you in the first place and we are all soliciting your help, assistance and co-operation as regards this business. Arrangements have been made with the security company where the funds are presently kept to arrange with either their representatives in Europe, US or Canada, since they have representatives there, to receive these funds in cash depending on where it is most convenient for you to pick up the cash. If you now decide to go into this arrangement with us, it will be greatly appreciated if you will kindly indicate where will be most convenient for you to pick up the funds and also send to me the following information; your company name, address and your private telephone and fax numbers (home or office) for easy reach and contact. Once we can get this information, we would be able to commence this transaction in earnest as all we have to do is to initiate the movements of the funds from here to you for pick up. All modalities would be taken care of down here. You do not need to spend any money at all. We have taken care of all the loose ends and indulge me when I say that it is totally risk free.

Please as soon as you get this message and you are willing to assist in this transaction, do send to me the information requested so that we can begin with this process. Also if you decide to assist us, I would expect your call later today for us to be able to decide the way forward for this transaction. My confidential telephone line again is 234-1-7593414. You can reach me anytime of the day, but the best times to call me are between 18:00 – 23:00 hours GMT. You can also send the necessary information via E-mail.

Finally, I want to assure you that this transaction is hundred percent risk free and all that is required is mutual trust, honesty and a non-religious adherence to my instructions. The need for confidentiality and secrecy during the course of this transaction, cannot be overemphasised as any breach could impact negatively on the successful outcome of this transaction.

Let me at this juncture mention an african adage that says that, « money that can not be enjoyed does not make one rich » We wish to enjoy this money after transfer hence, when we say it is 100% risk free, we know what we are saying.

Hoping to hear from you soonest.

Best regards,

AARON OBASAJO.


Aaron,

Honestly, I feel truly honorfull to help you and your clients. Just let me know what I need to do.

~Michael Solomon


DEAR MIKETOP OF THE DAY TO YOU OVER THERE.THANK YOU FOR THE MAIL AND FOR YOUR INTEREST IN THIS TRANSACTION WHICH I BELIEVE IS THE BEGINING OF A GREAT RELATIONSHIP.I SHALL INTIMATE YOU ON WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO DO AFTER I MUST HAVE DISCUSSED WITH MY CLIENT YOUR RESPONSE,SO THAT THE TRANSACTION CAN BE COMPLETED IN EARNEST AT THIS JUNCTION I WOULD LIKE TO REASSURE YOU THAT A SINGLE PENNY WOULD NOT BE REQUIRED FROM YOU AS ALL LEGAL REQUIREMENT WOULD BE TAKEN CARE OF BY MY CHAMBERS.AGAIN THANKS FOR YOUR WILLINGNESS TO WORK WITH US WE REMAIN OBLIGED AARON OBASANJON B:IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS MAGNITUDE IS NOT CONFIDENTIAL ENOUGH BY EMAIL IT IS THEREFORE IMPERATIVE THAT YOU FORWARD TO THE CHAMBERS YOUR CONFIDENTIAL TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS MINE ARE ,TEL234 1 7593414 FAX234 1 7593896.

Aaron,
Sorry to be writing you this late, but I can’t sleep because I can’t stop thinking about this exciting
transaction!
I understand that email is not a safe way for us to communicate about a financial disclosure of this magnitude, so i will fax you the information when I get around to purchasing a fax machiene from a radio shack that’s nearby where I live.
Thank you again for choosing me to assist your monitary needs,
Michael Solomon

DEAR MIKETOP OF THE DAY TO YOU.PLEASE TRY NOT TO BE OVERCOME BY ANXIETY SO THAT THIS TRANSACTION CAN BE SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED.THE INFORMATION I REQUESTED FOR ARE VERY VITAL FOR THE SUCCESS OF THE TRANSACTION.
PLEASE THE FAX MACHINE SHOULD BE BOUGHT IN EARNEST FOR THERE IS NO TIME ON OUR SIDE INFACT WE ARE WORKING AGAINST TIME.PLEASE KINDLY SEND YOUR COMPANY NAME ,YOUR CONFIDENTIAL TEL AND FAX NUMBERS AND ANY FORM OF IDENTIFICATION,THIS
COULD BE YOUR DRIVERS LICENSE SO WE COULD KNOW WHO WE ARE DEALING WITH.PLEASE BE FAST ABOUT THIS FOR THE IMMEDIATE BEGINING OF THIS PROJECT AWAITING YOUR PROMPT RESPONSE
WE REMAIN OBLIGED
AARON OBASANJO

Aaron,
I understand the importance of time in our situation, and I am doing everything possible to expediate the
information to you and your chambers so we can proceed in earnest.
I just returned from the fax macheine store, where Rick, the salesman helped me purchase a VERY nice fax macheine. I told him that I needed a fax macheine and i needed it fast because I have some VERY important business to take care of. But he was on the phone and kept me waiting for 5 minutes!! So I waited. After that, he showed me the Lexmark P250, which I liked but it was too cheap( it only cost $129). For an operation of this type of business venture we are
involved in, I didn’t want to risk the security and quality of our correspondance with a cheap fax macheine that might break. So I asked Rick to show me the best fax macheine, and he showed me the Cannon XP-3000, and I bought it! It cost me $1,249, but i know that it is worth it because a correspondance between you and i of this nature deserves the utmost quality and importance. I’ve had so much money in my account since my father passed away, i never thought
i’d be able to spend any of it, but now, i can finally have peace knowing that my father’s inheritance is finally being put to good use.
When i figure out how to use the Cannon XP-3000, i shall fax you all the aforementioned information, but as of now, I’m only on the second chapter in the instruction manuel. i’m reading as fast as I can.

sincerely,
Michael Solomon


DEAR FRIEND AND PARTNER,
TOP OF THE DAY TO YOU. I MUST CONFESS THAT WE ARE IMPRESSES WITH YOUR LEVEL OF COMMITMENT AND UNDERSTANDING SO FAR CONCERNING THIS PROJECT, WE ARE NOW MORE THAN EVER CONVINCED THAT WE HAVE MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE IN DOING THIS BUSINESS WITH YOU, WE DO APPRECIATE YOUR SPENDING SO MUCH TO PURCHASE A STANDARD FAX MACHINE WITH GREAT CAPACITY TO PERFORM AND WE ASSURE YOU THAT AT THE END OF THIS PROJECT, YOU WOULD NOT REGRET YOUR ACTION AND WE WOULD WANT TO APPEAL TO YOU TO KEEP IT UP BECAUSE IF WE CONTINUE AT THIS RATE, WE WOULD FINISH THIS PROJECT IN ESTIMATED TIME.

I WOULD LIKE ALSO TO APPEAL TO YOU TO BE CALM, PLEASE ENSURE THAT YOU KEEP THIS DEAL CONFIDENTIAL AND CLOSE TO YOUR HEART AS WE WOULD NOT WANT UNSCRUPULOUS PEOPLE TO HIJACK IT FROM US. IN THIS REGARD, I WOULD REQUEST THAT YOU CALL ME IMMEDIATELY YOU RECIEVE THIS MESSAGE SO THAT WE COULD DISCUSS AND GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER MORE, THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR US TO ESTABLISH THE MUCH NEEDED TRUST AND UNDERSTANDING.
NOTE. THAT WE HAVE ALREADY STARTED THE PROCESS OF LEGALISING THIS DEAL, BUT WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT COMPANY TO USE, YOU COULD GIVE US YOUR COMPANY NAME OR WE COULD REGISTER A COMPANY OF YOURS HERE WITH YOU AS THE BENEFICIARY OF THE FUNDS, THIS IS PART OF THE THINGS WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT WHEN YOU CALL. IF CALLING IS NOT CONDUSIVE FOR YOU NOW, JUST STATE EXACTLY WHAT TIME YOU WOULD CALL AS MY CHAMBERS IS NOT CLOSING FOR THE NEXT THREE HOURS.
THE PHONE NUMBER TO CALL IS 234 1 759 3414

PLEASE REACH ME IMMEDIATELY TO LET ME KNOW YOUR DECISION.

THANKS AND BEST REGARDS,

AARON OBASANJO


Aaron,
I’m still very excited to move this project forward, however I cannot give you a company name to use because I am currently unemployed. I was fired a few years ago after my drunk driving accident which subsequently sent my father to the hospital where his life ended. I’m also afraid I cannot send you a driver’s liscense because I had my driver’s liscense taken away after the accient.
Aaron, I tell you this for two reasons.
1: so that we can be totally honest with each other. You have been honest with me in entrusting me with the private matters regarding your client, and I feel that a way to repay you and your honesty is for me to be totally honest myself. I have never told anyone but my close remaining family about my accident. It is something that i am not proud of.
2: I am telling you this because I can closely relate your client’s situation with overzealous prosecution from the government. i too, was unjustly prosecuted, so i understand the feelings of you and your client.
After telling you the truth I hope that you do not doubt my abilities to carry out this project. I have confidance in your spirtualist that I am the right man for the job.
I tried to call your phone number, but it looks like an international number, and I don’t know how to dial it. Please clarify this for me.
Do not forget that I am more excited now than I have ever been to work with you and your associates.
Michael Solomon

DEAR FRIEND AND PARTNER,
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIMELY RESPONSE, WE DO APPRECIATE YOUR HIGH SENSE OF COMMITMENT, WE DO ALSO APPRECIATE YOUR OBLIGING US WITH SOME PRIVATE SECRET INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR FAMILY BASED ON TRUST, WE BELIEVE THAT FOR THIS TRANSACTION TO SUCCEED, WE NEED TO DEVELOP A GREAT LEVEL OF TRUST AND UNDERSTANDING BETWEEN US TO EFFECTIVELY PROSECUTE THIS PROJECT.
PLEASE ACCEPT OUR SINCERE SYMPATHY.
NOW MY FRIEND, AS ORIGINATORS OF THIS PROJECT, WE WOULD LIKE TO ASSUME THAT WE ARE IN A BETTER POSITION TO GIVE ADVISES CONCERNING THIS DEAL, THAT IS WHY WE WOULD LIKE TO APPEAL TO YOU TO CO-OPERATE AND FOLLOW OUR INSTRUCTIONS TO THE LETTER, THIS IS IMPORTANT AS WE DO NOT WANT TO MAKE ANY MISTAKES THAT WOULD JEOPARDISE OUR CHANCES, WE DO NOT DOUBT YOUR ABILITIES TO PROSECUTE THIS PROJECT AT ALL AS WE HAVE OUR CONVICTIONS ALREADY, PLEASE JUST TRY TO CALM YOUR ANXIETY AND TRY TO DO AS WE INSTRUCT OR DIRECT FOR THE GOOD OF ALL PARTIES.
BY YOUR LAST MAIL, WE WOULD NEED TO REGISTER A COMPANY WITH YOU AS THE PRESIDENT/C.E.O , THIS MEANS YOU ARE THE BENEFICIARY OF THE FUNDS , THE SECURITY COMPANY THAT WILL MOVE THE FUNDS DOES NOT DEAL WITH INDIVIDUALS BUT CORPORATE COMPANIES THAT IS WHY WE NEED A COMPANY TO REPRESENT YOU.
IN THIS REGARD, WE HAVE CHOSEN TO REGISTER “SOLOMON’S ENTERPRISES NIGERIA LTD.” AS A LIMITED LIABILITY COMPANY NAME
HERE IN NIGERIA. BY MONDAY 19/03/2001, WE SHALL BE PAYING ALL NECESSARY REGISTRATION/INCORPORATION FEES AND CHARGES AND AS SOON AS THE CERTIFICATE IS OUT WE SHALL BE SENDING IT TO YOU BY FAX. YOU CAN THUS UNDERSTAND WHY IT IS ABSOLUTELY VERY IMPORTANT THAT WE HAVE YOUR PHONE AND FAX NUMBER SO THAT WE CAN SEND YOU NECESSARY INFO. AND DOCUMENTS FROM TIME TO TIME FOR YOUR PERUSAL AND RECORDS.
DEAR MIKE, AS PER CALLING ME , LISTEN CAREFULLY AND FOLLOW MY ADVISE.

1. I GUESS YOU DO NOT HAVE INTERNATIONAL ACCESS FACILITY ON YOUR PHONE,IF YOU DONT, THEN TRY TO GET ONE.
2. IF YOU DO HAVE INTERNATIONAL ACCESS FACILITY ON YOUR PHONE, WHAT YOU NEED TO DO, IS TO CALL YOUR INTERNATIONAL PHONE OPERATOR AND SAY THAT YOU WANT TO CALL YOUR FRIEND ABROAD(OUTSIDE YOUR COUNTRY), THAT YOU NEED THE INTERNATIONAL DIALING CODE. THERE IS A CODE APPLICABLE IN YOUR COUNTRY THAT YOU HAVE TO DIAL BEFORE 234 1 759 3414 . PLEASE AND PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT YOU DO NOT DISCLOSE THIS DEAL WITH ANYBODY WHATSOEVER EVEN THE OPERATOR, IF YOU ARE ASKED WHY YOU ARE CALLING NIGERIA, JUST SAY YOU ARE TRYING TO REACH YOUR FAMILY.
I AM IN THE OFFICE TODAY TO EXPECT YOUR CALL, IF YOU CANNOT GET TO SPEAK WITH ME, JUST SEND ME A FAX(DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW TO USE THE MACHINE NOW?). NOTE THAT IF YOUR CALL GOES THROUGH,ALWAYS ASK HOW IS THE WEATHER?
AND THE RESPONSE SHOULD BE..VERY POSITIVE. THIS IS IMPORTANT SO THAT WE CAN BE SURE YOU ARE SPEAKING WITH THE RIGHT PERSON DOWN HERE AND VICE VERSA. THE NUMBER TO CALL ONCE AGAIN IS PHONE: 234 1 759 3414 . FAX : 234 1 759 3896.

DO YOU HAVE ANY FORM OF IDENTIFICATION, IF YOU DO, WE WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU OBLIGE US AS WE NEED TO KNOW WHO WE ARE REALLY DEALING WITH AS WE WOULD NOT WANT ANYBODY TO IMPERSONATE YOU. I HOPE YOU DO UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY.

PLEASE RESPOND PROMPTLY TO THIS MESSAGE AND INCLUDE YOUR PHONE AND FAX LINE IN YOUR RESPONSE. TIME AND CONFIDENTIALITY IS OF THE ESSENCE.

WITH KIND REGARDS,
AARON OBASANJO.


Aaron,
Wow! I’m very excited that as of Monday, I will have my own business in your country! Let’s get down to business.
I did some investigating about my phone service, and I was told that I don’t have international access. So, I called my phone company and I arranged for a customer service/installation representitave to come to my house and install a new phone line (that has access to calling Nigeria) and he will also instruct me on how to use it. I’ve already spoken to him by phone, and he seems like a really friendly guy; his name is Rodney.
I can’t wait until Rodney gets my new phone service working so I can finally call up my new business associates in Nigeria, and finally bring this operation forward.
Michael Solomon

DEAR FRIEND AND PARTNER,
I AM DELIGHTED TO HEAR THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY MADE THE MOVE TO GET A PHONE
WITH INTERNATIONAL DIALING FACILITY, WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TOO TO HEAING FROM YOU AS WE BELIEVE THAT SPEAKING TO YOU WOULD ACTUALLY USHER IN THE PROJECT PROPER.HOWEVER, WE ARE STILL WONDERING WHY YOU HAVE NOT SENT YOUR PHONE AND FAX NUMBER TO US. WE NEED TO INCLUDE THESE NUMBERS IN SOME APPLICATIONS WE MAKE ON BEHALF OF THIS DEAL, I ADVISED EARLIER ON IN MY LAST MESSAGE THAT YOU TRY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE TO FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS AND DO ACCORDINGLY BUT YOU SEEM TO BE TOO EXCITED THAT YOU ENTIRELY IGNORE SOME PARTS OF MY MESSAGES. PLEASE I AM NOT TRYING TO CONTROL OR PUSH YOU AROUND BUT YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT FOR US TO SUCCEED IN THIS TRANSACTION, WE HAVE TO BE CAREFUL AND FOLLOW SOME GUIDELINES. PLEASE TRY TO UNDERSTAND.
REMEMBER TO ALWAYS KEEP THIS DEAL TO YOUR HEART, WHEN THE DEAL IS FINALLY CONCLUDED AND WE ARE SAFE YOU COULD FEEL FREE TO TELL ANYBODY HOW YOU GOT YOUR RICHES BUT FOR NOW WE NEED TO CARRY IT OUT TO IT’S LOGICAL CONCLUSION.
EXPECTING YOUR RESPONSE.
BEST REGARDS,
AARON OBASANJO

Aaron,
Bad news. We’ll have to put the project on hold for a few days. I can’t beleive this just happened. I had a glass of water resting on a shelf above my new fax macheine (The Cannon XP-3000) and my x-girlfriend’s dumb cat (which i’m babysitting for while she’s in Canada this weekend) knocked over the glass RIGHT ONTO THE FAX MACHEINE! The water shocked the cat so bad, I had to take him to the animal hospital, and the water shorted out my fax macheine and blew a circut and now my house has no power! I’m writing you this email from my pal Lance’s house, but don’t worry, he’s in the other room and can’t see what I’m typing. I have to go to the hospital in a few minutes to check on the cat, and if this damn cat dies, i’ll have to find a new one by monday, when Denise gets back from canada. I had to leave a note on my door for Rodney, because when he gets to my house, i’ll already be at the hospotal. I’ll get back to you when i have time to check my email again.
I remain obliged,
Michael Solomon

DEAR FRIEND AND PARTNER,
TOP OF THE DAY TO YOU. HOW IS THE CAT DOING, HOPE SHE IS FINE? WE DO NOT WANT DENISE TO BE UPSET BY THE TIME SHE RETURNS FROM CANADA, SO PLEASE SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO. THIS IS IMPORTANT AS WE WOULD NOT WANT YOU TO FACE ANY KIND OF EMOTIONAL STRESS WHEN THIS DEAL FULLY COMMENCES SO THAT YOU COULD HAVE FULL CONCENTRATION FOR THE DEAL. JUST BE CAREFULL NEXT TIME AND PROTECT YOUR EQUIPMENT(S) ADEQUATELY. IT COST SO MUCH, REMEMBER?PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO HEED MY REQUEST AND SEND YOUR PHONE AND FAX NUMBER TO ME, MAYBE I COULD CALL YOU FIRST, THIS IS RISKY AS I HAVE TO GO THROUGH
THE OPERATOR IN THE COMPLEX WHERE I WORK, BUT I THINK I CAN MANAGE JUST ONE CALL. PLEASE COMPLY.
REMEMBER ANYTIME YOU CALL ME ALWAYS ASK: HOW IS THE WEATHER? AND THE ANSWER SHOULD BE “VERY POSITIVE”.
EXPECTING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.

WITH KIND REGARDS,
AARON OBASANJO


Aaron,
As it turns out, the cat died. No pet store in the area had another cat like it, so i’ll just have to wait untill tomorrow to see how mad Denise will be. But when I was in the hospital, I was talking to my friend Jeremy and he mentioned that he too had recently bought a new fax macheine. I asked him why he bought it, and he said he couldn’t tell me because it was confidential. When I asked him a second time, he winked at me, and then nodded. Then he changed the subject. Aaron, this brings doubts that I am the only one selected for this operation. Who was the associate that told you to contact me in the first place? I suspect it was Jeremy, and I don’t appreciate you undercutting my importance in this mission. Even if it wasn’t Jeremy, I do not think I can proceed untill I know who told you to contact me about this deal. It could be anyone, and I can’t continue to not trust each of my associates, especially Jeremy. And if the spiritualist can verify my dedication to the job, then why can’t she guess my phone number and address?
Having doubts,
Michael

DEAR FRIEND,
TOP OF THE DAY TO YOU. I MUST NOT FAIL TO SAY HOW SORRY WE ARE AND SYMPATIZE WITH YOU ON THE DEATH OF YOUR CAT, WE ARE INDEED VERY SORRY AND WE HOPE YOU ARE ABLE TO EXPLAIN TO DENISE AND CALM HER AND CONSOLE HER. DEAR MIKE, I MUST CONFESS TO YOU THAT I WAS SO UPSET BY YOUR RECENT INSINUATIONS AND ACCUSATIONS THAT I SAID NOT TO RESPOND TO YOU AGAIN BUT AFTER CAREFUL DELIBERATIONS WITH MY PARTNERS AND OUR CLIENT, WE FEEL IT IS OUR DUTY TO EXPLAIN TO YOU FOR MORE CLARIFICATIONS. FIRST OF ALL YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE DOING A PROFESSIONAL WORK HERE AND WE STAND TO BE PAID OUR PROFESSIONAL FEES AND WE WOULD NOT LEAVE OUR DUTIES TO COME AND ENGAGE IN SOME KIND OF CHILD’S PLAY AS YOU WANT TO MAKE THIS LOOK LIKE. FOR THE AVOIDANCE OF DOUBT, LET ME SAY HERE THAT NEITHER I AND ANY OTHER PARTNER IN THIS HONOURABLE CHAMBERS NOR MY CLIENT HAS HAD, IS HAVING ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOUR JEREMY OR WHATEVER YOU CALL HIS NAME. WE HAVE DEALT WITH YOU AND YOU ALONE ALL THIS WHILE AND WE DO NOT HAVE ANY CONTRARY INTENSIONS EXCEPT YOU TELL US THAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO CONTINUE WITH THE DEAL, THEN AND ONLY THEN CAN WE LOOK FOR ANOTHER. HOW CAN YOU SEE A MERE COINCIDENCE OF BUYING A FAX MACHINE AS A REASON TO BRING THIS CAREFULLY THOUGHT OUT SCHEME SO LOW, YOUR FRIEND MIGHT
HAVE BOUGHT THE MACHINE FOR GOD KNOWS WHAT, WE ARE NOT UNDERCUTTING YOUR IMPORTANCE AS YOU CLAIM BUT WE EVEN BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE EVEN SORT OF BLACKMAILING US BECAUSE WE BELIEVE AS OUR SPIRITUALIST SAY THAT YOU ARE THE ONE FOR US TO TRUST AND DO THIS WITH, BUT THAT IS CHEAP BLACKMAIL.

FOR CLARITY PURPOSES, MY CLIENT GOT YOUR CONTACT FROM ONE OF HIS FRIENDS WHO HAPPENS TO WORK WITH ONE OF OUR FOREIGN MISSIONS(SPECIFICALLY THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE AND INDUSTRY)THAT IS THE BEST WE CAN DISCLOSE AS WE DO NOT INTEND FOR ANY REASON(S) TO DISCLOSE CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION AS THIS IS AGAINST PROFESSIONAL ETHICS BUT WE DO KNOW AND WE ARE VERY CERTAIN THAT IT WAS NOT FROM YOUR SO CALLED JEREMY OR ANY OTHER PERSON CLOSE TO YOU.

FOR THE AVOIDANCE OF ANY DOUBTS, PLEASE TRY HARDER TO GET MORE INFORMATION FROM YOUR FRIEND ABOUT HIS REASON FOR GETTING A FAX MACHINE AND YOU WOULD SEE THAT IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME,MY FELLOW PARTNERS AND MY CLIENT.
YOUR FRIEND MIGHT EVEN BE INVOLVED WITH SOMEBODY ELSE IN THIS SIMILAR SITUATION WHO NEEDS ASSISTANCE BUT CERTAINLY NOT US. WHATEVER YOU DO , PLEASE MAKE SURE NOT TO DISCLOSE MY CLIENT’S IDENTITY AS A SEARCHLIGHT IS STILL ON HIS FAMILY.

AFTER ALL SAID AND DONE, WE HERE DO HAVE A SECOND THOUGHT ABOUT YOUR ABILITY TO PRESERVE THE CONFIDENTIAL NATURE OF THIS TRANSACTION AS YOU ALLOW EXCITEMENT TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOU. IF YOU ARE STILL INTERESTED IN THIS TRANSACTION THEN YOU HAVE TO CHANGE. WE HAVE TAKEN TIME TO EXPLAIN THE SITUATION TO YOU AS IT IS, IF YOU BELIEVE FINE, OTHERWISE THERE IS NOTHING MUCH WE COULD DO IN THE CIRCUMSTANCE.

IS THIS WHY YOU HAVE NOT SENT YOUR PHONE NUMBER FOR US TO COMMUNICATE? OR YOU ARE JUST RAISING EXCUSES HERE AND THERE. IF YOU WANT TO DO THIS WITH US LET US BEGIN OTHERWISE LET’S STOP WASTING EACH OTHER’S TIME. THE CHOICE IS YOURS.

EXPECT TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.

BEST REGARDS,
AARON


Aaron,
I’m sorry for being hostile in my last email. Understandably so, I was upset becase of the cat. Thank you for your kind wishes for me and Denise, although now she’s refusing to talk with me because of what happened with the cat. This business deal that you and I have is all I’ve got going for me right now. Thanks again, I really appreciate your choosing me.
Since the mentalist said I’m the chosen one, I’ve been feeling much more powerful lately. Last night I sat at my table for 3 hours and tried to move things with my mind, and although the feather did move a tiny bit, I think it was from the ceiling fan.
I talked with Jeremy, and you were right. He bought the fax macheine for his new job at the post office, not because you told him to. I’m feeling much more confidant in this deal, and I’m sorry it took me so long to finally trust you, Aaron.
I’m also excited because I got an email from a company in California that chose me (out of hundreds of others!) to test sneakers for them. All I have to do is give them my credit card number to pay for shipping, and they said they’d ship me 15 pairs of shoes to test, absolutely free, and I get to keep the shoes! This is great, because I’ve always felt that I’m good at knowing a good pair of shoes when I see one. But don’t worry, I don’t tell these people about our special deal. I haven’t told anyone, and that’s how I plan to keep it.

I remain obliged,
Michael


DEAR MIKE,
NOW THAT YOU SEEM TO HAVE COME TO TERMS WITH YOURSELF, WHAT IS THE WAY
FORWARD? YOU HAVE NOT TOLD ME ANYTHING POSITIVE FOR A WHILE NOW. AFTER
YOU BOUGHT YOUR FAX MACHINE, YOU SAID YOU NEEDED JUST A LITTLE WHILE
TO STUDY THE MANUAL AND THEN AFTERWARDS YOU WILL CALL, HAVE YOU NOT
FINISHED
STUDYING, OR HOW DO YOU THINK WE COULD GO ON WITH THIS DEAL WITHOUT
COMMUNICATING
PROPERLY. THIS E-MAIL KIND OF COMMUNICATION LIKE I TOLD YOU BEFORE IS
NOT TOTALLY SAFE, OR DONT YOU HAVE A PHONE AND FAX LINE, IF WE HAVE TO
CONTINUE THIS PROJECT LET US HAVE YOUR PHONE AND FAX LINE.
I HAVE WORD FROM OUR CONTACT THAT THE REGISTRATION OF YOUR COMPANY
“SOLOMON’S
ENTERPRISES (NIG.) LTD. IS IN IT’S FINAL STAGE AND THE DOCUMENTATIONS
WILL BE OUT, HOW ON EARTH DO WE SEND THESE DOCUMENTS TO YOU?
LET’S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS. WE EXPECT YOU TO SEND THESE INFORMATION
WHEN
NEXT YOU RESPOND, RIGHT?
WE REMAIN OBLIGED,
AARON

Aaron,
I think this is the end of our business deal. Do you
remember that company in California that said they
would ship me 15 pairs of shoes in exchange for my
credit card number? Well, it turns out it was a
SCAM!!! Yesterday I needed to pay for the cremation
of the cat with my credit card and it was denied. I
thought, whoah! hold on a second! I thought it was a
mistake because I had over $375,000 in that account
(from when my dad died). I called Visa, and they said
that somebody in california was pretending to be me and bought 3 new cars and thousands of dollars worth of sterio equiptment!!!!
So, I immediately contacted the police (I’ve been in the police station for the past 7 hours) and they’re starting a full investigation into this whole mess. aparantly, when somebody steals over $100,000 dollars, it becomes a federal crime, so tomorrow somebody from the FBI is coming to talk with me. the only thing I have from the scam artist is an email address, but the police said that they can almost always track a person from an email address.
But for now, i don’t have the time to own a company in nigeria, i hope you understand Mr Obasanjo. thanks for all you’ve done for me; i really appreciate it.
~Michael
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